In recent weeks, the media has been dominated by coverage of the P Diddy trial and the serious allegations brought forward by his former partner, Cassie. These stories are deeply distressing and, for many survivors of abuse, painfully familiar.
At Maria Fogg Family Law, we believe it’s important to talk openly about these issues — not to sensationalise them, but to help victims feel seen, believed, and supported.
There is No Excuse For Abuse
One of the most common defences heard in abuse cases is, “They were drunk,” or, “They were on something and didn’t know what they were doing.” But the reality is much simpler — and more sobering.
View our previous article on spotting signs of abuse.
Substance Use Doesn’t Cause Abuse — It Reveals It
Statements such as “He was high,” or “He was coming down from opioids,” are often used to excuse abusive behaviour. But alcohol and drugs do not create abusive tendencies. They do not instil entitlement or invent control. What they do, however, is lower inhibitions — they take the mask off.
Masking True Intentions
If someone is capable of manipulation, degradation, or violence while intoxicated, it is not the substances that made them abusive. It is that those behaviours were already part of them. Intoxication simply removed the filter that often masks their true intentions.
Recognising Patterns of Abuse
The P Diddy case is not just about substance use. It raises far more significant concerns around power, control, and coercion. The allegations describe a sustained pattern of abusive behaviour masked by wealth, fame, and public charm — a reminder that abusers can hide in plain sight.
Overshadowing Survivors
Too often, society protects abusers who hold influence, power, or status. We hear, “But they’re successful,” or, “They do so much good.” These distractions should never overshadow the voices of survivors or minimise the harm they’ve endured.
Let us be clear:
Many people use substances — and never abuse anyone.
Coercive Control Isn’t Always Obvious
According to allegations, drugs were supplied not for celebration, but for domination. They became tools to:
- Increase control and dependency
- Impair judgment
- Make a partner easier to manipulate
This was not casual use. It was coercive and calculated.
If you’re facing abuse and fear you’re online activities are being tracked learn more on how to cover them here.
If Any of This Feels Familiar — You Are Not Alone
You may have heard:
- “I didn’t mean it, I was drunk.”
- “I can’t remember, I was high.”
- “That wasn’t really me.”
And you may have questioned your own reality.
Please know:
- You’re not overreacting.
- You’re not imagining things.
- You are not alone.
Supporting Clients
At Maria Fogg Family Law, we support clients who are experiencing — or recovering from — abuse in all its forms. Whether it involves coercive control, emotional manipulation, or physical harm, we’re here to help you make sense of what’s happened and take the steps you need to feel safe.
Support is available. You deserve to be heard — and to heal.
If you or someone you know is facing domestic abuse, our team is here with compassion, experience, and the legal expertise to protect you and your family.
